Loving Strangers Is A Myth

Some time ago I came across some books from UCSB Chicano Studies professors who are suppose to be enhancing the study of Mexican Americans because that is what Chicano means, but since I don't use that term I take a different approach. As I saw the titles from the female Chicano Studies professors, there was one I think from Chela Sandoval that stated something about loving and that if one didn't love there was a fault in that person. But then I thought if she practiced that philosophy how come I never got any love when I applied to teach part time. All I got was the cold shoulder even after Francisco Lomeli wrote a nice recommendation which I never get because I am not loved by the Chicano community but then again not even my extended family loves me and I don't love them either. I care for two brothers and the other two well lets just say they we mutually dislike eachother. At least we are honest with our dislike. So I didn't get hired and thought those titles were not realistic.

Then I came across Cornel West and his books which can go either way with me though I have read "Why Race Matters" though I'm not Black and many Blacks believe Mexican Americans are not really part of the racial question eventhough we are in the part of Northern Mexico that was conquered by the US have been in the deserts of California for much much longer. And he too has his share of Living and Loving Loud but as I have concluded, this is all mythical.

My most obvious reason goes back to my world view, I can't love strangers. How can one love someone they don't know? That is ludicrious and illogical. So because I see a stranger even if he or she is Mexican American I'm suppose to love them when I don't know their intentions. Talk about not being prepared for life. Someone might take advantage of such openness. I was raised to mistrust the world so when I had to sit through classes on the Multiethnic Experience at CSULB I couldn't take the fact that female professors kept insisting that they had to be shown respect when they were strangers. In my world view, you have to earn that it isn't given willingly and stupidly. So when I stated I was raised to not respect a woman or strangers it was with the intent that I could not trust someone I did not know and even if we were friends we could turn on eachother at any moment. Ask any guy about that. But according to the self serving make belief world of a Cal State University who were self serving, they got upset at my cultural perspective because it didn't suite their purpose. The female professors got mad but I didn't care because they weren't showing me any love so they were being hypocritical and self serving. As long as they were being served they were happy but when challenged at that warp thinking they got mad.

Which brings me back to these not so bright articles and books about loving when the word is a verb not a noun. And for UCSB, I never got any love for all I was requesting was to be judged on my merit.